So, Sometimes I Do Stand-Up In My Head.

300

Most-of-the-Time-Me:
Yuck. This new deodorant smells like a urinal cake.
Every time I move my arms, It’s like I am in a public unisex bathroom.

Fussy-Me:
Ewwww. Toss it.

Hippy-Me:
You got dressed again, didn’t you. I’ll bet you even put on a bra. How many times do I have to tell you. If you don’t get dressed, you don’t need deodorant. You can coast on yesterday’s.

Retired-Me:
Suck it up. Use it up. You can’t waste $1.68. Alternate it with the other new one. It can’t be that bad.

Most-of-the-Time-Me:
What if the other one is WORSE?

Fussy-Me:
Really? WORSE? Is there a WORSE as far as deodorant goes?

Hippy-Me:
I know someone who uses one of those natural deodorant crystal things. I think you can get one on the internet for about $16.

Retired-Me:
WHAT? NO! Shipping charges alone are probably $10.

Most-of-the-Time-Me:
What else could I order to make the shipping worthwhile…

Hippy-Me:
That Raw Shea Butter  moisturizer scented with frankincense and myrrh is great. Maybe they took my suggestion and made it into a candle scent.

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Fussy-Me:
Can’t argue with the candle idea.

Retired-Me:
You have a $20 off coupon in the most recent Yankee Candle catalog.

Most-of-the-Time-Me:
Turquoise Sky! Pretty and nice-smelling.
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Fussy-Me:
Summer Wish. MMmmmmm.
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Retired-Me:
Under the Palms. Ahhhhh.
Belk
Hippy-Me:
Luau Party?

ALL-THE-REST-OF-US:
NO!

Hippy-Me:
?

ALL-THE-REST-OF-US:
URINAL CAKE!
420-6180-7396-00-yyy

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One thought on “So, Sometimes I Do Stand-Up In My Head.

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