I had a luncheon to attend. For four years, I have relied on certain staple items in my wardrobe: $20 Jeans. $5 Tee-shirts, $10 hoodies, husband’s old work socks, clogs from 10 years before, underwear so old even the Smithsonian can’t find an anthropologist with experience to categorize it.
Why did I wait until the last minute to realize ALL of my “tops” are either stained, elderly, or both. I found a drawer which had lovely cotton sweaters. I chose a white one. It took me five–FIVE–tries to find a white tee which was still WHITE, unstained, age indeterminate. Hmmm. A scarf would be just the thing.
Thrift store drawer of scarves–the hostess favors certain shades of aqua, turquoise, teal. I select one, tie it and like the result. It makes the incongruity of the cabled sweater and smooth tee kind of melt to the background. Faux twin set accomplished. Down the stairs. Oh, no! Need to fix hair! Up the stairs. Can’t find clever barrette or attractive AND tolerable headband. Select black hair tie. Down the stairs.
Oh, no! Need to wear make-up! Up the stairs. Do I still have make-up? Down the stairs. Oh, no! Make-up is inadequate, must find earrings. Up the stairs. Can it be that long since I wore earrings? Where are the damn holes?
I have forgotten how TO GIRL.